I've been listening to a Clifford Stone interview on YouTube today, hosted by Project Camelot. He had some really interesting experiences and opinions on extraterrestrial visitors. Sgt. Stone was one of many "Whistle blowers" who came forward with the Disclosure Project to make known that our government has denied us the truth about their contact with life on other planets. It's got me thinking about how we, as humans, function as interconnected beings. Or rather how we don't.The interview takes an interesting turn, I think, toward the end, as Sgt. Stone talks a little about interconnectedness, and how we are essentially on an adventure for enlightenment in this life, how we are part of something much more vast than we might think. I thought the comments he makes about sacrifice were especially resonant. He says that taking care of others is of primary concern for humans, and most of our issues, as humans, are caused by putting ourselves before others. Personally, I think this is one of the most important lessons we are here to learn.
I have frequently been overheard stating my most fixed opinion, which is that "selfishness is the root of all evil." I really believe this. It seems that everything a person could be held accountable for, every time we make a choice to do something that causes pain, that causes us suffering to human beings, began with selfishness. Laziness, neglect, ignorance, abuse, among other things, can all be traced back to selfishness.
But so many people have sacrificed so much over the course of our known history, that a sort of rebellion was formed against the idea of sacrifice as being a good thing. We are told so often that we should not sacrifice ourselves. Giving is good, but don't give until it hurts, right? I don't necessarily agree. I think there are many times when giving until it hurts is not only what's required to really contribute something to others, but also often what's required to contribute to our own growth.
My general rule is that if my sacrifice will contribute to the greater good, and it wont kill me, then I should give whatever is necessary. Even if it hurts. I do believe there are exceptions. For example, choosing between two evils becomes a judgment call that we have to make as individuals. Or when children are involved; I will always put my children first because I have made an implicit commitment to do so by giving birth to them. But in these exceptional instances, we simply do the best with what we have. Though too often, it is emphasized that we should put ourselves first. If we don't, if we sacrifice too much, then others will tell us that we have no self-respect. How often have you heard, "No self-respecting person would put up with that!"?
I've heard it quite often, and I find it sad because I think a self-respecting person is one who respects themselves and others, enough to know, and to own their own boundaries.
I hear from friends, often, that I am too hard on myself, too much of a perfectionist, too giving. They don't understand how I could want to continue to give to someone who may have treated me poorly. I say, compassion reminds me that we are all connected through our experience of being human, they say I am a martyr.
Sometimes I do get sick of feeling taken for granted, or taken advantage of. Sometimes I whine about having put myself in that position. But the point is that I own it. I accept that it was I who put myself in that position to begin with. And the truth, overall, is that I put myself in those positions because I do genuinely care about others. Not to appear nice, not to gain some "saintly" status, but because I truly believe that others are just as important as I am.
There are only a few causes, or people, that I could honestly say I'd die for, but if I felt that it were in the interest of the greater good, I'd sacrifice quite a bit for absolutely anyone.
I really think that if more of us were willing to risk our own significance, we could create a world where sacrificing ourselves would be far less necessary to begin with. Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Perhaps some will say that I am idealistic, but I am more than willing to be the change I want to see. Are you?
