Character

If a person does something generous for another person, but does it ultimately for their own personal gain, is this person still considered a generous person? I've been thinking about how, and to what extent I define character traits (in myself and others)...and thinking it all the way through, or at least as far as I seem to get, I realize that unless a person exhibits a behavior with some degree of altruism, I don't necessarily apply that to their character as an individual. It's something they DID, not something they ARE. I don't know if this fair, but it's how I feel most times...what do you guys think? I'd love some feedback from others on this...

The Man of my Dreams (and other such imaginary creatures)

The man of my dreams loves fruits and vegetables as much as he loves pizza or steak. He doesn't have to be athletic, or even overly fit but he is active and consistently makes healthy choices. He knows how to do traditionally "manly" things: build a shelter, a fire, fix a car and a computer but does not fall prey to machismo silliness.

He is strong in mind and body and takes pride in a job well done. He enjoys hard work, always finishes a task he's set out to complete, appreciates personal growth and is open-minded and optimistic more times than not. He is resourceful and driven, but not aggressive, and doesn't take competition too seriously. He is independent but sensitive to the needs of others, craves new experiences and has an adventurous spirit so is always willing to try something new, enthusiastically. He is brave despite his fears and willing to take calculated risks. He asks for directions when he's lost, is devoted to his wife and family before all else. He is chivelrous out of respect, not obligation, and appreciates a strong and independent woman. He is loyal and impeccable with his word and takes integrity very seriously.

He takes pride in his hygiene and appearance without being metrosexual or vain. He is confident but humble (and understands how someone can be both). He is socially and environmentally conscious and genuinely cares for the whole of humanity. Whatever he does for a living, he does it because it is his passion, and would not think of selling-out for cash, but he understands the responsibility of caring for a family and so does his very best to help contribute financially. He has broad interests and enjoys learning about other cultures and other people, is patient and tolerant (especially with children) and both enjoys and appreciates kids. He is tolerant of others, and respectful even when he disagrees with someone's perspective. He is well-educated and eager to learn through both experience and academia. He likes to read, is at least somewhat creative and imaginative and is genuinely compassionate.

And while he knows that raising the future generation is serious business, he doesn't take things too seriously or too personally. He embraces change, even if it scares him.
He appreciates all things in nature and can see the patterns and teachings inherent in the cycle of the seasons and in a simple, earth-conscious life. He is deeply spiritual but probably not religious, and he wants a woman who is very similar to himself in almost all regards.

I have been told that this man does not exist, that they are mythical, gay, or live in Montana..haha! I've been told that I am an idealist, a perfectionist and that my standards are far to high. But, as with dragons and faeries, angels and demons, ghosts and aliens, I remain ever-watchful for proof of their existence.

Back to School!

I just found out that I was accepted into the Psych Dept. of ISU! Am very excited to finish my degree and it looks like the majority of my classes from two previous institutions will transfer, so if all goes well...I'll be admitted as a junior and have my Masters Degree in 4 years!

After 10 years out of school, this is pretty exciting stuff for me. P has interviewed for a position with a company who engineers and builds renewable energy structures, and it's likely that he'll get that position, so it really looks like things are falling into place for us here. A nice change from the disappointment of the summer experiences off-grid.

M will be spending the last half of her school year at her father's house, and I am trying to brace myself for that departure, but ultimately, I think she will really get some benefit from more one-on-one time with a parent than we are capable of giving her here. It's an interesting time to have so much in-flow into our lives, but I'm thankful for the reminder that we are blessed.

Yes We Can!

Photo: www.time.com
On November 4, 2008 we cast our vote for change! And what a refreshing surprise; the majority of our nation also felt it was long overdue. I cried with relief, triumph, renewed hope in America, as President-elect Barack Obama delivered the following words:

"This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing – Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons – because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America – the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can." (The transcript of his entire speech can be found on ABC News, or watched on Youtube.)

Barack Obama will be our 44th President, and even as McCain's loyal followers "booed" Obama's name, McCain encouraged them to support our new President in making the changes necessary to encourage our future as a United States. The first African-American President...we have come SO far, and I am once again proud to call myself an American.

The radio is still talking about the masses of people, weeping with joy, across the globe, at America's choice for change. My hope is that this decision will send a clear message to the other parts of the world that we are fed-up with greedy politicians, that most of us are displeased with Bush's Administration and that he is simply not an accurate representation of the American people.

For myself and many of my family and friends, this landslide was not only the harbinger of change in America, but a demonstration of the evolution of humanity. We are not the ignorant "American bullies" that we have been represented as, and maybe now, this will begin the new age of consciousness so that we can get on the road to recovery with our foreign neighbors and begin establishing peace and respectful communication across the globe!

Full Disclosure: Be the change

I've been listening to a Clifford Stone interview on YouTube today, hosted by Project Camelot. He had some really interesting experiences and opinions on extraterrestrial visitors. Sgt. Stone was one of many "Whistle blowers" who came forward with the Disclosure Project to make known that our government has denied us the truth about their contact with life on other planets. It's got me thinking about how we, as humans, function as interconnected beings. Or rather how we don't.

The interview takes an interesting turn, I think, toward the end, as Sgt. Stone talks a little about interconnectedness, and how we are essentially on an adventure for enlightenment in this life, how we are part of something much more vast than we might think. I thought the comments he makes about sacrifice were especially resonant. He says that taking care of others is of primary concern for humans, and most of our issues, as humans, are caused by putting ourselves before others. Personally, I think this is one of the most important lessons we are here to learn.

I have frequently been overheard stating my most fixed opinion, which is that "selfishness is the root of all evil." I really believe this. It seems that everything a person could be held accountable for, every time we make a choice to do something that causes pain, that causes us suffering to human beings, began with selfishness. Laziness, neglect, ignorance, abuse, among other things, can all be traced back to selfishness.

But so many people have sacrificed so much over the course of our known history, that a sort of rebellion was formed against the idea of sacrifice as being a good thing. We are told so often that we should not sacrifice ourselves. Giving is good, but don't give until it hurts, right? I don't necessarily agree. I think there are many times when giving until it hurts is not only what's required to really contribute something to others, but also often what's required to contribute to our own growth.
My general rule is that if my sacrifice will contribute to the greater good, and it wont kill me, then I should give whatever is necessary. Even if it hurts. I do believe there are exceptions. For example, choosing between two evils becomes a judgment call that we have to make as individuals. Or when children are involved; I will always put my children first because I have made an implicit commitment to do so by giving birth to them. But in these exceptional instances, we simply do the best with what we have. Though too often, it is emphasized that we should put ourselves first. If we don't, if we sacrifice too much, then others will tell us that we have no self-respect. How often have you heard, "No self-respecting person would put up with that!"?
I've heard it quite often, and I find it sad because I think a self-respecting person is one who respects themselves and others, enough to know, and to own their own boundaries.

I hear from friends, often, that I am too hard on myself, too much of a perfectionist, too giving. They don't understand how I could want to continue to give to someone who may have treated me poorly. I say, compassion reminds me that we are all connected through our experience of being human, they say I am a martyr.
Sometimes I do get sick of feeling taken for granted, or taken advantage of. Sometimes I whine about having put myself in that position. But the point is that I own it. I accept that it was I who put myself in that position to begin with. And the truth, overall, is that I put myself in those positions because I do genuinely care about others. Not to appear nice, not to gain some "saintly" status, but because I truly believe that others are just as important as I am.

There are only a few causes, or people, that I could honestly say I'd die for, but if I felt that it were in the interest of the greater good, I'd sacrifice quite a bit for absolutely anyone.

I really think that if more of us were willing to risk our own significance, we could create a world where sacrificing ourselves would be far less necessary to begin with. Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Perhaps some will say that I am idealistic, but I am more than willing to be the change I want to see. Are you?

Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Disappointingly, community doesn't always work as we anticipate. Lesson learned. I wont go into detail, as I don't want to disclose information that isn't mine, but I will say that the summer at Loth idea, due to a break-down in communication and support became moot.

I'm pretty disappointed. No, I'm hurt and I'm livid about the entire ordeal, but I suppose I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it, huh?

On one hand, I want to have compassion for others, when I see them making choices that are out of their character, obviously hurtful to themselves or others, but on the other hand, I'm rarely on the receiving end of these situations and so being there now is another story. It's more difficult than it used to be to feel compassion in response to selfishness. I'd love to say that it comes easy for me (it used to) to humble myself, accept that I don't necessarily know whats best for anyone else, and so support the people I love, even when their choices don't make a bit of sense to me. But it's not easy to do that when their choices create so much drama and inconvenience for me and for my family.

But, such is life. I'm working as hard as I can to take every lesson I'm supposed to get from this experience.

On a personal Note

We're off to Lothlorien Nature Sanctuary first thing in the morning, so both blogs (The Last Living Blogger and The Divine Open Mind) will be slow, or perhaps non-existent until mid-August.

Blessed Summer to All!